COMMON MISTAKES IN PARENTING
Proper education of children is of paramount importance. In recent times it has been observed that wrong notions, ambition of parents, the need to match peers has lead to great distress amongst children. The improper feeding of knowledge has mutated fresh minds, and will in the future change the very foundation of society.
Some common mistakes committed by parents, which I have observed time and again, are highlighted here—
Most upwardly mobile educated parents are seen to pamper their children beyond their financial means. Children nowadays are being given almost everything, which they ask for. This leads to inflated egos amongst children. The inflation of ego at such a tender age, leads to self-centeredness. The child’s memory is mutated into thinking that that it is the duty of his parents to meet his whims and fancies.
The very foundation of society from ancient times depended upon families looking after their members. The binding factor was the natural respect for the older members of the family. This has changed now, and the persons most affected are the educated upwardly mobile parents, and their tendency to ape the super rich.
Another common tendency, which has been observed now a days. And again this is mostly amongst the educated upwardly mobile parents, is becoming over ambitious about their children. One sees most children, even 2 and 3 years old, taking classes in music, dance, sports and other such activities, which lead to fame.
Such activity has grown rapidly over the past few years, and probably owes its rise to the unfulfilled fantasies of the parents. These parents want to see their unfulfilled fantasies fulfilled through their children.
What has to be realized is that out of the army of children aspiring for fame and fortune, how many will finally make it. Just a handful, and what is left, an army of children with unfulfilled ambition. This will lead to frustration, and the child will be left with nothing else to fall back upon, and will find it hard to find an alternative profession, as his entire mind has been programmed to meet his parents ambitions.
This is not to say that one should not impart specialized training to children. Specialised training should be imparted, but it is equally important to judge the capability and capacity of the child. The child’s mind should not be programmed in such a way that he believes this is his final and only destination. There should be an alternative channel to fall back upon if the child fails to make it.
One more important thing parents should realize is that every child is unique. Hence, comparison between one's child and those of friends and relatives should be avoided. Unnecessary comparison leads to feeling of insecurity amongst children, and may create long-lasting complexes in the child.
What most parents and especially the educated upwardly mobile ones should realize is that natural behavior towards children, like that of the past generations leads to the imparting of the values of family life, loyalty towards parents and relatives amongst children.
The wrong notions about what parenting should be like, will only lead to the child drifting away from you, and some years down the line you will be looking into the eyes of stranger and not the child you thought you were giving the best possible education and facilities.
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Some common mistakes committed by parents, which I have observed time and again, are highlighted here—
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| Parenting in India |
The very foundation of society from ancient times depended upon families looking after their members. The binding factor was the natural respect for the older members of the family. This has changed now, and the persons most affected are the educated upwardly mobile parents, and their tendency to ape the super rich.
Another common tendency, which has been observed now a days. And again this is mostly amongst the educated upwardly mobile parents, is becoming over ambitious about their children. One sees most children, even 2 and 3 years old, taking classes in music, dance, sports and other such activities, which lead to fame.
Such activity has grown rapidly over the past few years, and probably owes its rise to the unfulfilled fantasies of the parents. These parents want to see their unfulfilled fantasies fulfilled through their children.
What has to be realized is that out of the army of children aspiring for fame and fortune, how many will finally make it. Just a handful, and what is left, an army of children with unfulfilled ambition. This will lead to frustration, and the child will be left with nothing else to fall back upon, and will find it hard to find an alternative profession, as his entire mind has been programmed to meet his parents ambitions.
This is not to say that one should not impart specialized training to children. Specialised training should be imparted, but it is equally important to judge the capability and capacity of the child. The child’s mind should not be programmed in such a way that he believes this is his final and only destination. There should be an alternative channel to fall back upon if the child fails to make it.
One more important thing parents should realize is that every child is unique. Hence, comparison between one's child and those of friends and relatives should be avoided. Unnecessary comparison leads to feeling of insecurity amongst children, and may create long-lasting complexes in the child.
What most parents and especially the educated upwardly mobile ones should realize is that natural behavior towards children, like that of the past generations leads to the imparting of the values of family life, loyalty towards parents and relatives amongst children.
The wrong notions about what parenting should be like, will only lead to the child drifting away from you, and some years down the line you will be looking into the eyes of stranger and not the child you thought you were giving the best possible education and facilities.
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Fantastic post!
ReplyDeleteSome good advice here for would-be parents (including myself) on perhaps the greatest challenge in life - bringing up a child.
I have posted a few articles on the subject of parenting and how much I have learned from my little boy here:
http://www.knowledgereform.com/2009/08/09/the-wonderful-wisdom-of-becoming-a-child-again/
http://www.knowledgereform.com/2009/10/02/the-wise-lessons-of-fatherhood-baby-j-is-1-year-old-today/
http://www.knowledgereform.com/2009/12/11/a-philosopher-as-parent-part-1-stefan-molyneux/
I will posting another parenting advice article in the future and I will include an excerpt of your post, as it provides some wise advice on what and not to do when dealing with a child.
Cheers Prophet!
We have to let children be children, and not fill them with our adult fears and expectations. In fact they have more to teach us than we have to teach them.
ReplyDeleteChildren are growing too fast these days..and the entire blame cannot be put on the parents..there is so much exposure to everthing these days, that to expect a parent to monitor each and every act of the child is near impossible.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, i thin, parents too have begun to substitute love and attention with money. Consequently the child is not imbibed with the right values, morals and has a distorted sense of what is right and what is wrong...
Being a parent in the waiting, it is very nerve wracking for me to imagine, how i would be as a parent.